


Love, Justice, and the In Between

by Timeskipped



Category: AI: The Somnium Files (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Major Spoilers, Platonic Relationships, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22012744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timeskipped/pseuds/Timeskipped
Summary: Boss contemplates the space between Date and Hayato.
Relationships: Boss | Kuranushi Shizue & Date Kaname
Comments: 10
Kudos: 113





	Love, Justice, and the In Between

There’s a lot of things that that Shizue would die for.

It's a dark night in Tokyo on the day she discovers how deep that feeling goes, for a man who decided to shed himself for a new body. She would die for her job, sure, but it's only when she finds the body of Saito Sejima bleeding out of his left eye that it hits her how much she cares for this man over her entire career.

At first, she doesn’t believe her eyes; the neon lights illuminate him as if he was a ghost, the blood crusted under his eyelid, his silhouette hunched over in fright.

Shizue is shocked, almost in _fear_ of what could've happened as she moves to intercept him. She asks who he is, a note of disbelief measured out evenly because _oh,_ this isn't the killer they know.

The Cyclops Killer breathes out, a small break in the composure of his tightly drawn shoulders, blond hair partially covering the eyelid with dark red stains.

He looks confused, his one eye glancing around as if she might be talking to someone else. She raises an eyebrow; the street is empty of everyone except them, but the man in Saito’s body still stares at her curious face as if expecting her question to be for someone different.

Shizue realizes the truth like a lightning bolt striking her, but the way she holds out her hand to Hayato Yagyu is easy and kind.

She would die for him, after all, and the realization sinks into her skin.

She will deal with the consequences. She will take Hayato with her, no matter the difficulty. She will smile at him until the confused glow in his eye disappears. She will protect him just as she has for as long as they've known each other, young and stupid, drifting and older. Shizue puts her arm around his shoulder and tells him that she's his boss. She turns that into a part of herself for him.

It's the truth, in a retrospective kind of way. The versions of who they were shift, changed retroactively by what Shizue tells this new Hayato. This version of who they were before shimmers, no longer a white lie.

* * *

Date’s face is blank, staring off into the distance. His body sits stiffly on the chair next to her desk. He's obviously not comfortable about not knowing her, but more than that, the expression on his face is _depressed._

Shizue thinks through the reason. Is it the memory loss? The body swap? Something else?

For a moment she considers that he might hate how stifling the underground facility is, but snorts, shaking off the thought with a private smile. Date isn’t like her and her endless obsession with injecting life into her world. In comparison to the bright room around him, even, Date seems drab; he doesn’t move at all, his eye only glancing up at her and then back down even when she laughs.

Letting go of that smirk, she tilts her head worriedly, leaning over as if to extend a hand towards him.

Achingly, Shizue knows that he wouldn’t take it. She’s not sure if Hayato would've either.

“Are you okay, Date?” she sighs and crosses her legs, tilting her head again as if that would convince him to be honest. She thinks that maybe if she lays on the concern thick enough, he’ll think it a joke as well as an offer for help.

“I feel…” Date swallows his words. There’s a beat of silence. “I'm not happy.”

Shizue thinks again. The causes of not being happy. She tucks a lock of hair that's come out of her ponytail back behind her ear, mulling it over. There has to be some explanation.

“Hm.” A thought strikes her, that maybe the reason is listed in the files she has about Saito Sejima.

And of course it is. It’s been her go-to reference for everything, for all the lists of things she needs to do and the strings she needs to pull, and they get jumbled in her head in a way abnormal for her. She’s too worked up over him, has been since she found him only recently. Even when she’s taking care of everything and protecting him, there’s always more to do, more to think about.

The file sits in the filing cabinet, several degrees of security locking it away from Date’s eyes. His singular, blank, unhappy eye.

“Maybe you should talk to Pewter. He _is_ kind of a doctor, in a roundabout way.” That's technically a lie, though Pewter does have access to various medical technologies and knowledge due to his experience with the Psync Machine, as well as the recent project of creating a prosthetic eye for Date that Shizue put him up to.

Shizue doesn’t know the exact details of Pewter’s ideas, but she trusts Pewter in creating an AI for Date, one that will help him in more ways than one. She also trusts him to take care of Date while she looks into something that Date isn’t allowed to know.

Date shoots her a look. “You're just trying to get rid of me,” he says flatly.

Shizue scoffs, leaning back confidently. “You know, I could make it an order if you want. You really don't have a choice, Date.” But as she says that, she knows that she doesn’t want to give him the wrong impression of her. They’re practically strangers all over again, no longer close friends from their days in the police academy.

Shizue remembers it well; he’d poke fun at her when she complained about how dull everything was, asking if she wanted to sneak porn into the bags of unsuspecting classmates in order to liven things up. She would laugh; they’d always laugh together, because she and Hayato were both the kind of people who didn’t want to be overburdened by the weight of their job.

But then they’d given into that weight, felt it pressing on their shoulders until they collapsed into the system that corrupted all the people before them. Shizue had watched idly as she inserted herself into it, grown used to the intricacies of reading people, and then watched as Hayato had fallen into something more she didn’t understand.

Shizue remembers going drinking with him and seeing the pensive way he’d stare into his glass, and she remembers the way his eyes would focus on nothing at all. She remembers the strange tone he had he talked about _evil,_ and _love,_ and _justice,_ before she found out about his double life as an assassin. The distance between them had widened significantly, in those years.

“...Is what I would say if I was forcing you. But no,” Shizue continues, “I’m not trying to get rid of you. I’m just concerned.” Her honesty seems to catch Date off guard. She almost moves to say more, to emphasize that she just cares for him and his happiness.

Date shakes his head, but stands. “Thanks, Boss. I'll figure it out. It's probably because of the memory loss…” As he leaves, Shizue sees the dark circles under his eyes highlighted by the way Saito Sejima’s hair frames his face. “I’ll be with Pewter. Thanks.”

She's not sure what he's going through, but she can at least try to help. She watches him as he leaves, following the way he moves with her eyes. He pulls the door open cautiously, and steps through as if suspended just by strings holding him there.

The door shuts slowly, and her office feels lonelier than ever.

But it doesn’t matter in the long run. Shizue stands, gracefully sliding off the desk and striding purposefully to the locked drawer where she keeps information that she needs to know; stuff that would be less safe in a hackable computer than within reach, just in case. It's not as if it would be the worst thing if someone found it, since it is already in the ABIS building under levels of security, but for Date's sake...

Her gloved hand reaches into her pocket for the key. Technology has made amazing advancements, but for her, this system works perfectly fine. Keys, passwords, they all contribute to hiding something that even hackers wouldn’t be able to find in their database.

The lock clicks, the metal drawer pulling out smoothly. Shizue flicks through the papers inside, even though there are only a few there due to her relatively short time being a commander of ABIS; this is only for the most secret, and there aren’t as many of those cases. The paper she's looking for is about the true nature of Kaname Date and Saito Sejima, and all of the events relating to them.

She flips through the papers. Medical information flies over her head, since she’s no professional, but she had asked Pewter about oddities with Saito Sejima’s health, things to watch out for just in case. The words are skimmed, Shizue trying to quickly pinpoint something or other until it fits together, until she can help Hayato, because Hayato is the one she cares about and if she can’t help him, then what’s the _point—_

_Oxytocin._

The word is underlined, almost certainly by Pewter. Shizue blinks at it, and with only a second it fits together the puzzle inside her mind—deficiency of the so-called “love hormone” could have a lot of different effects, not so well researched as to specifically apply to Date’s condition, but possibly related.

The possibility burns in her mind.

She thinks of the reason why Pewter would underline the word. She knows he had gotten the file from So Sejima after Shizue had so kindly requested it. She knew that Pewter had looked into it all while Date’s primary medical treatment was ongoing.

Shizue holds her palm to her forehead, because of _course_ Pewter wouldn’t tell her, that foolish man. He probably thought that they didn’t have enough information to know if it was a problem or not, but obviously, looking through the rest of it, there wasn’t much else that Date’s symptoms could point to as far as she knew, unless Saito had something undiagnosed.

She sighs, dragging her hand down to cover her mouth and the smile that quirks up her lips. Of course Pewter would think that was the sensible option. He always was a fan of waiting for the right moment, as eccentric as ever.

As annoying as it is presently, it’s also almost funny how much Shizue finds she cares for her subordinates.

Despite that, she still has to deal with it. She decides that calling Pewter is the course of action that works best here. He's the one dealing with Date's health (or, rather, his head) so Shizue thinks he’ll know more than she does about how to give him oxytocin, preferably without tipping him off.

It's not that she _wants_ to hide it from him. It's just that it's… better. It's better to let the pain of his past stay lost.

Maybe she's a bit selfish, but she wants to protect Date like this. She wants to savor the look in his eye when he doesn’t even think of killing people, no matter how evil they may be. It's her responsibility to keep him on the right path in ABIS. He already has compatibility with the Psync Machine, and the need for his past to stay secret works well with the department…

The phone rings in her ear. She leans on her desk casually, flipping through the papers a little slower while she waits. When it clicks in her ear, she sets them down, ready for answers.

“Boss?” Pewter sounds curious. “What do you need?”

“How's Date over there? Is he hearing this?”

“No, he's not,” Pewter pauses, then launches into speech. “He told me that you sent him here due to him acting, ah, depressed. Pretty sure he called him being forced here an abuse of power, but you didn't hear that from me.”

Shizue smiles, snorting out a laugh. That's the him she knows, both as Date and Hayato, the type to complain of her strictness.

Pewter continues, “We've been running more tests, mostly related to the Psync Machine and how to use it effectively, but I'm also collecting data for the AI-Ball, because of course it would be useful if it could assist him inside Somnium investigations. I'll have to incorporate different coding, but given the way the Wadjet System works, it should turn out well without too much effort.” Pewter laughs, obviously pleased with his inventions and skill.

“Hm. The AI is going to be hooked up to his brain, right?” Shizue raises an eyebrow, though she knows Pewter can’t see it. Perhaps the AI-Ball could do something about the oxytocin. In the meantime, though, Shizue still needs a way to help Date before such a long, complicated project like the prosthetic eye is completed.

“Well, it's more like the nerves are—”

Shizue coughs. “Please, Pewter.”

There's a moment of silence on the other end. “What are you trying to say?”

“Apparently Saito had an inability to produce oxytocin, which is information So provided for us. I'm sure you know that that’s a possible cause of Date's mood problems. Do you know how likely that is with how he is right now?”

Pewter sucks in a breath. “Well, oxytocin deficiency like this is… unresearched. Saito’s brain is, in a word, abnormal.” He pauses. “I… don’t mean to imply that it’s his brain’s fault for him becoming a serial killer, of course. I doubt Date has any danger of that, but,” Shizue hears a muffled tapping as Pewter clicks away on his keyboard, “yes, given his mood problems, I think that’s highly likely, given the brain chemistry he shows. The Psync Machine doesn’t react negatively to it, however.”

Shizue hums. “I was just thinking… How can we give him artificial oxytocin? Would this AI-Ball be able to do it?”

“Well, artificial oxytocin has been a thing for a while, though I've never heard of it being used like this, or to this degree,” the sound of papers flipping can be heard. “The AI should be able to use the pathways inside the brain to deliver it, though it may be a bit difficult. I'd have to put in more research on the specifics.”

“So,” Shizue smiles, “you'll be able to do it? In the meantime, I'd prefer it if Date didn’t have to be oxytocin-less. You can do that for him too, can't you? I’m sure you can find a way.”

“Ah, wait, I still need to do that research, and—”

“I'm trusting you with this, Pewter.” She's well aware that plowing through his complaints is rude, but she can't bring herself to care. He's more brilliant than he gives himself credit for; if anyone's able to do it, it's him.

Pewter sighs. “I'll try my best.”

* * *

Date still acts terribly down on himself for the following months without oxytocin, but he’s at least better. He doesn’t turn to murder (or, rather, _back_ to murder, given his prior job as an assassin) at the very least, and Pewter gives him some oxytocin secretly, though he informs her that it's definitely not enough. Shizue almost feels bad for twisting the system so much to allow her to do this for him while still keeping it a secret, but it gets done. That's what matters.

It gets to the point where she starts getting close to Date again. He’s different, for sure, but something still feels familiar in him, with or without memories.

When Aiba finally gets finished and he begins to receive regular oxytocin supplements, he still doesn’t change completely. He begins to talk to her more outside of cases, and he even seems a bit friendlier in the middle of work, but even though it's not turning him into who he was before, any change from depressed is good in Shizue’s eyes.

“I'm not going drinking with you,” Date says, rolling his eyes. “I’ll have you know I went out with Renju the other day, and Aiba was pestering me about the right about of alcohol to avoid being, quote-unquote, ‘too drunk.’ Like I was planning on drinking that much anyway. Do you think it would’ve killed Pewter to make an AI that’s a little nicer?”

“I resent that,” Aiba snarks from her place next to Shizue’s leg. “He made me perfectly well, I will have you know.”

“I actually do think it would've killed him if he had to make Aiba in any way other than how he wanted,” Shizue laughs. “I also think he would die if someone took away the Psync Machine when he wants to make sure the program is correct. He’s very dedicated, wouldn’t you agree?”

Date scoffs. “Sure. But Aiba still sucks.”

“I’m sure you’ll get along _great_ in the future,” Shizue says slowly. Date raises his eyebrows. “And don’t take that the wrong way, Date,” she glances at him, “I mean that being in the same head is going to force you to be close as partners, not anything sexual.”

“Now you made me think about it being sexual, which, gross. She’s literally my eyeball.”

Shizue laughs. “Oh, trust me. If a woman has a personality, I’m sure there’s a way it can be sexual.”

“I would like to disagree,” Aiba says. “I am an AI, after all, not a human woman…”

“So?” Shizue uncrosses and re-crosses her legs. “I’m just saying that Date has a way to make anything more sexual than it originally was.” She shoots a teasing smile at Date’s disbelieving look.

“You’re the one making this weird,” Date says. “Besides, you’re going to give the wrong image of me! I’m not like that, Boss.”

“So you _do_ want to get along with Aiba, then?” Shizue snickers.

“On my part,” Aiba comments, flicking a hamster-like ear, “while I dislike Date’s perverted nature, I would also like to get along with him. I am his partner, after all, and he is my host. I am glad that I can assist him. Although I _would_ prefer if he spent less time admiring the pornographic magazine vending machine in Golden Yokocho.”

“That’s not important,” Date squints down at Aiba, annoyed.

“Isn’t it?” Shizue looks at Date. “How am I supposed to know that you’re not wasting ABIS money on expensive porn if you’re not with me? Come on, I know so many better ways we can use that money.” She puts a hand on her hip, aiming to exude confidence.

“No thanks,” Date says. “I’m not going to drink expensive booze with you.” He sighs, but he’s smiling. “I’m surprised you want to get so close to me, Boss.”

“I believe Boss is simply trying to get to know you better as you are now,” Aiba says. “I cannot blame her for wanting that, as you do spend a lot of time together for your job.”

Shizue is a bit surprised by that. She feels like she already knows Date, after all, and learning about Aiba isn’t her goal, since Aiba is Date’s partner, not her’s. Idly, Shizue finds herself wanting to touch the back of her neck in a nervous gesture. As soon as she realizes the urge, she pushes it down; it reminds her of Hayato, telling her not to have too many tells, to keep cool in all situations.

It’s advice she’s taken to heart, but felt that she could let go of with him, and him alone. Now that he’s Date, not Hayato, she supposes she’s still looking for a piece of that comfort and ability to show her cards. He acts differently, and she acts differently, and the world has tilted in a way she’s unfamiliar with. She doesn’t tell him the truth about the past, and he’s still not Hayato.

She wants this new relationship to be familiar, though. She wants to get used to sitting at her desk and getting calls from Date, wants to understand the way he moves and the way he changes. She wants to know this new man with his new experiences, wants to be his boss and not a distant friend.

She wants to go drinking with him, to get him to laugh with a red face and tell her stupid puns. Hayato hadn’t been like that, but Date’s gotten into the habit, cracking jokes every time he’s in her office, in between cases. It warms Shizue to think about.

Shizue smiles coyly at Date. “Yes, I want to know you. Can’t a woman take her subordinate to a bar once in her life?”

“Not with Aiba we can’t,” Date rolls his eyes. “Aiba will bug me about drinking again. I know my limits, so she doesn’t need to worry about that, but I _know_ she will anyway. And I bet you two will team up on me too, and I’d prefer for that not to happen, thanks.”

“Are you afraid you will be humiliated by Boss, Date?” Aiba asks, her voice practically oozing smugness. “As soon as I gather enough data about your drinking habits, we can go out and I will not say anything at all. As for Boss and I teaming up, however…”

Shizue smirks wider. Date shoots her an exasperated look.

“Can we please talk about something else,” he asks. “For example, did you get more decorations for this room? Because it’s getting a little crowded in here.” He tilts his head, staring at the various objects.

“The Russian nesting doll is new,” Aiba comments.

“It reminds me of you, Date,” Shizue tells him. He gives her a confused look. “Oh, come on. You’re so serious on the outside, but I can tell that inside you’re just so, so ready to joke around. And inside that is your cold, hard shell that protects all your inner secrets…” She draws out the words purposefully.

“I don’t see it,” Date deadpans.

“Well, in any case, the smallest doll would be Aiba, see?” Shizue looks down at the small, semi-transparent form that Aiba has taken, who looks up at her, unblinking and yellow, yet somehow quite cute. “So small and responsible. Another layer to you, Date.”

“I _am_ quite responsible,” Aiba says, proudly. “Thank you for noticing.”

“Whatever,” Date scoffs. “Whether I get used to Aiba or not, I guess I’m stuck with her for now, and I’ll have to deal with what you’re calling _responsibility._ ” He leans his elbows on his knees. Shizue watches the corner of his lips quirk up as his one eyed gaze wanders to the left.

Shizue thinks that the way he looks at Aiba is something like trust, despite his complaints. Despite the short time they’ve been together, Date’s green eye focuses on her when she talks about details in cases, and when they complain about each other, Shizue thinks she hears fondness caught in their barbed words.

When they talk to each other in a way that betrays their closeness, the bond between two people working together all the time, Shizue can’t bring herself to be upset at being left out.

It's different from Hayato, but not a _bad_ different.

* * *

“Tell me,” Shizue said, “what does love mean to you?” It was a shot in the dark, a hand outstretched to understand Hayato and who he'd become just a little bit better.

In return, he laughed. “I don't know. Does love even exist?”

Shizue frowned at him. “You can do better than that,” she told him. “Love is something everyone understands, even you.”

Hayato scratched his cheek. “Really. Well, I do love this,” he held up his drink with a smirk.

Shizue grinned, gesturing at him as if to tell him congratulations for having some love in his cold heart. “There you go,” she said, not saying what she really wanted to say. _I love you,_ she thought, _and I want to help you. Will you let me?_

Hayato was so stubborn. Shizue didn’t voice anything as they sat in silence, Hayato staring forward. Shizue reached over to poke him with a gloved finger. He gave her an annoyed face, squinting at her in the darkness of the bar.

“Why did you do that, huh?” he said, crossing his arms.

“You just seem so pensive these days,” Shizue said, not yet aware of his job as an assassin but still aware of the tension following him each time they speak. “I want you to loosen up.”

Hayato sighed. “No can do, Shizue,” he leaned back, folding his hands behind his head. “I have so much I need to do these days…” In the light of the bar, his shadows read heavy, curled around him like a past coming to haunt him. It was so dreary, too much for Shizue to understand. She would, though, she would eventually learn of the past that defined him and the love that he treasured above all else.

There was a softness in his eyes, when he spoke of Hitomi, a woman Shizue had never met. Shizue thought that for Hayato, that’s what love meant.

Love, for Shizue, was hope that she'd be able to help. It wasn't a romantic inclination, of course, just something that stayed true despite their distance. It was apparent, even then, even long before Date stumbled towards Shizue the night she found him, that Shizue cared for Hayato. Eventually, that caring became something she watched grow, aware of what it meant.

Before finding Date, though, it hadn't quite hit her yet. The experience of realizing had taken her hand, pulled her through so many different problems to solve for his sake, and now she can barely catch her breath. She is a victim of realizing almost too late, but it’s not all the way gone yet.

Date is still there.

Date is still with her, a subordinate and a friend, talking to himself and solving cases and laughing in a way Hayato hadn’t allowed himself to.

She suspects that it hasn't hit him yet, how powerful love is. She doubts Hayato realized, either, during his time with Hitomi and Iris, until he was shown a picture of their smiling pictures and told to murder them with his own hands.

Shizue hopes that Date can discover how much Aiba, ABIS, and maybe even Shizue herself mean to him before it's too late. She hopes for him not to hurt as much as Hayato, and wills herself to reach out for him before he falls.

If nothing else, that's what Shizue can do for him.

* * *

Shizue looks up from her desk when Date walks in. He's in the middle of a case, though they're almost done with it, so she automatically assumes that he's here to report in. In a way, it's a force of habit, even though Aiba usually takes care of it now.

But still. Date still needs help with investigations sometimes, or needs permission for something or other, or wants to psync with a suspect, and for that Shizue is a necessary component. She gladly takes the responsibility, taking her role as leader seriously whenever he needs her.

She stands when he enters, turning off her monitor as she does. Date lingers near the door, one gloved hand resting on the metal, as if afraid to move. When Shizue steps around her desk and towards him, Date takes a deep breath.

“I need the rest of the day off,” he says.

Shizue raises an eyebrow. Date’s acting strange, and she doesn’t like it when he does that. She wants to figure out the pieces. “Why is that?”

Date doesn’t answer right away. He looks away, seemingly embarrassed.

“I’m taking care of Renju’s kid right now, and she’s sick,” he says, finally. “She should be better by tomorrow, but I’d hate to leave her alone right now.”

Shizue hadn’t heard about him taking care of his friend’s kid, so it's a bit surprising. But things are calming down in the case, and if she takes on a bit of his work, or puts it on someone else, so that he can take care of the kid, that should work out fine.

Still, though. It makes her feel uneasy that he would hide this from her, even if it's just temporary and very much not her business. Date doesn’t feel as close to her anymore, even though they're slowly getting there again.

“How old is she? You might be overestimating a child's ability to get over sickness.”

Date sputters slightly. “She's eight, and I'm pretty sure eight year olds can get better quick enough that I don't need to take out vacation days… right?” His tone tapers off uncertainly.

“Your definitely not getting paid for this,” Shizue smiles, “but I won't take away a vacation day, just this once.”

Date lets out a heavy sigh of relief. “Thanks, Boss.”

Shizue waves a hand at him. “Don’t thank me, go home to her.” She looks back down at the file she’s holding, something dreadfully mind numbing yet necessary for ABIS, but doesn’t hear Date moving away. She waits a second before saying anything, and he stays put.

“What is it?” Shizue sits on her desk and looks up at him when she's situated. “I'm not going to ask you why you're taking care of her, if you're worried about that.”

Date leans against the doorframe, bumping the back of his head lightly against it. “It's not that,” he says, before falling silent. His shoulders hunch slightly.

Shizue sighs. She has to get him to talk, she supposes. “What I am worried about is how much time you're spending here when you just asked to leave,” she crosses her legs. “What's up with you today?”

Date scoffs lightly. “She doesn’t want me there anyway. I think her exact threat was,” he rolls his eyes, “if I come there she'll run away and never come back. I think her actual parents would be better at gaining her trust.” His eyes end up focusing on the ceiling, not even at Shizue or any of the many things in her office she could comment on. She’s a little bit offended.

“So you're insecure,” Shizue says, amused.

“I am not!” Date crosses his arms. “I just haven't taken care of her for long enough. In a month she'll trust me to help her. Definitely. I mean, she's only eight.”

Shizue taps the pen she's still holding against her leg. He's going to take care of her for an entire month, which doesn't sit right with Shizue. Either it's one hardcore babysitting job that Renju’s put his friend on—a friend who also has a fulltime job, no less—or something weirder than what Shizue originally imagined is happening.

“Uh-huh. Are you sure you have time to be taking care of a child for an entire month? Should I give you more time off?”

Date cringes. “No, it’s fine! I can help her perfectly well with the time I have.” He frowns, looking at the decorations scattered on the walls rather than at Shizue herself. “It’s better than nothing if I just do this.”

_Better than nothing._ Shizue thinks through the words slowly.

Shizue knows Date. She knows him well enough to look beneath his unbothered, uncaring aura and see that he’s trying to be good for Renju’s daughter. At the same time, she can see his thinly veiled self-doubt at the way he hesitates, almost looking for permission from her to take care of a responsibility that he took on by himself.

“I’m not really the person you should be asking when it comes to children,” Shizue sighs. “Just go. She needs an adult, obviously, if you’re doing as much as asking me for time off this case.”

“Right. See you, Boss,” Date leaves the room quickly, almost as quickly as he came, and the door shuts loudly.

Shizue feels suffocated down here, so far from the surface. It’s not something she hides, not from Date or anyone else who happens to come down here, but now her brain is full of scattered thoughts that she doesn’t know what to do with, and she feels even more stifled. Date is acting different than he had before, but still similar in a way that clutches at Shizue’s heart. She wonders if it means that he kept a part of himself, or if it’s a coincidence to be such a caring man twice in a row.

Date’s taking care of Renju’s daughter, and he’s trying so hard to do it. Shizue is proud of him for that, for finding that loving, protective part of himself that he used to hold for his girlfriend and her daughter, and turning it into something for someone else.

Shizue just wishes that Date would admit it to himself, that he’s really more of a fatherly guy than he lets on.

Maybe she should ask Aiba about it later, she thinks, smiling to herself and getting back onto the case. Maybe Aiba can tell Date for Shizue just how much love he has, even if it won’t be the same as wondering if he’s somehow the same as Hayato.

* * *

Hayato was, at first, a man of muted smiles, the jokes falling from his lips as often as his complaints about Shizue’s witty harshness.

The smiles fell away like rain draining away chalk, washing his color out. Shizue remembers reaching out to him, one night at a bar they went to, and the way he had flinched when her hand connected with the black jacket he wore. His eyes looked perpetually tired, those days, and more than once, more than twice, he called her late at night, out of breath.

When she asked why he was calling, he laughed in a way that spelled out _freedom,_ and said, “Adrenaline rush,” like that was nothing. His voice was breathy, and Shizue thought that he really did call her in a rush.

“Oh?” she smiled past the thoughts filling up her mind, wondering why he needed something like adrenaline to push him to call her. “What’s got you so pumped up?”

“A criminal,” he said, laughing roughly in a way that flowed into his heavy breathing like nothing at all. “I was chasing… I got her.”

“So you decided to call me? I'm hurt that you only like me when compared to a mysterious lady criminal.” She had been sitting in her office looking over employee information when her personal phone rang, but after answering she stood, her feet wandering the room.

“It's not like that,” Hayato coughed. “You… you just haven't seen me for a while... And I want to see you again, before I die in the middle of this stupid job.”

“Rather morbid of you,” Shizue replied.

“Hey, you know me, Shizue,” Hayato’s breathing was falling back into a normal rhythm. Shizue wondered if he’d hang up once the adrenaline faded. “I'm the most cheerful person you know.”

She scoffed and looked around the room. “I'd normally disagree, but the way my new job is going,” boring and drab, everyone so serious all the time, “you may be right.” Though she didn’t dislike her presence at ABIS, it was rather secretive. She'd much prefer to liven things up a bit once she'd made herself at home.

She’d also have liked to liven Hayato up.

“Thanks,” he told her dryly. “Good to know you're having fun as always. What have you even been _doing_ in your job anyway? Gotten any justice done?”

The reminder of justice stung. He'd used that word before, the last time they talked. “No, nothing like that,” she didn’t let her voice falter. “Mostly I've been intending to redecorate my office. Have to keep my new subordinates on their toes, after all.”

“Promise you'll show me someday,” Hayato said warmly.

“Of course,” she said, smiling at his tone.

She hadn’t been able to. Not in the way she wanted, at least. She'd agreed to it flippantly, in a wave of emotion at missing him, looked at the blank walls and began planning on how to fill them up, started thinking of all the things she loved, and the conversation eventually turned away to something else.

Even ignoring how ABIS was very much top secret, Hayato only came down there at the very end of his days in that body. When he confessed his situation, it was serious, the face he wore grim. Shizue couldn’t slip in jokes, couldn't laugh like she wanted.

He'd sunken into a colorless world.

* * *

She learns to appreciate the pieces of Date that weren't there before.

Shizue eventually learns Mizuki’s name when Date’s complaining about her kicking him in the shin and asking for a day off due to the bruise that’s appeared. Shizue can only smirk while she denies him. It’s not something Hayato would’ve done, but that thought is fading from Shizue’s mind more and more as the months and years tick by. She just sips her coffee and watches as he paces the room.

“You look healthy to me,” she comments. At his eye roll, she laughs.

“She’s going to drive me crazy. She’s so similar to Renju, too, and you know that Renju can be… eccentric.”

Shizue raises an eyebrow. “No, I didn’t know that.”

It’s a quiet thing. Shizue not knowing something about Date, about his life and who he’s becoming doesn’t even sting anymore, and Shizue sighs into her mug. The warm steam blows back onto her cool face.

“Well, now you know. He’s pretty into things different from the norm. Mizuki is like that, too, but in a normal kid way, like, um…” he looks to the side, pausing. Shizue thinks Aiba is saying something. “Like the stickers she collects. And I _just_ got her a stuffed animal for her birthday, something so _normal,_ but she decided to tell me it’s ugly.”

“Sounds like a fun family,” Shizue grins.

Date scoffs. “I am _not_ part of the family. Mizuki just lives with me, and Renju is just an old drinking buddy.” He makes an annoyed face, and Shizue smiles to herself, even as he mutters something that sounds vaguely like, “Better me than Shoko…”

Shizue leans back in her desk chair. She’s not usually sitting in it, especially when Date is in the room with her, but it’s just so goddamn early, and collapsing in a seat which isn’t a cold hard desk? Yes please.

“Hey Date,” she says offhandedly, as Date stops speaking in favor of talking to Aiba inside his head. He looks over at her, eyebrows raised. “What do you think about justice?”

Date’s eyebrows raise even further. “Why are you asking?” he says, turning his body all the way towards her.

“No reason,” she says. “And your answer?”

Date smirks. “Well it’s probably us. We’re the police. Plus, if we were a stricter department, I doubt we could help so many people. The only problem is that some of us think the rules are probably _too_ loose. Aiba is too controlling just to counteract it, you know that?”

It amuses Shizue. She places her mug down, crossing her legs casually. “Hm. I think Aiba’s right that we need some structure.”

Date gives her chaotic office a slow glance. “No offence, Boss, but take your own advice.”

Shizue finds it entertaining. Hayato never would’ve said anything like that. He never would’ve joked around in the same way, at least not when she knew him. He would’ve been cleaner, sharper, a knife ready to fight, but Date’s shoulders are relaxed, and his voice is soothing.

It no longer reminds her of Saito Sejima and of all the things she’s lost. The pieces of him that fell away are stuck in mountains of past paperwork, and in their place is this man, who gets teased and kicked around and still loves them just as much as Shizue loves him.

Shizue turns the conversation away from herself and puts him to work, sharply turning down his request for time off.

“You should’ve said that when I got here,” he says. “I just wasted so much time, when I could’ve been talking to Pewter about the last psync I did.”

Shizue waves him away. “Go, then.” She knows that between his job, one that he actually seems to like, with the _people_ he actually likes, he’ll find time for Mizuki. He’ll find time for Renju, too, and for giving Aiba a break. Maybe he'll even have time to get teased by Shizue for just a few more minutes.

Maybe all that will keep him out of danger, and Shizue won’t have to put herself on the line for him again. She’ll watch him leave, again and again, but he’ll always come back with that smile, those multicolored eyes that hold so much life.

Maybe they’ll be free from the past now.


End file.
